


you've been crying out for forever (forever's come and gone)

by Swiftly



Series: the way she shows me i'm hers and she's mine [2]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, Pure Unadulterated Fluff, and being a lil sappy, just carm brooding, teeny tiny oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6725224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swiftly/pseuds/Swiftly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there was one thing Carmilla was used to, it was being alone. Not just simply being on her own, but being alone,on such a profound level that it would have driven most humans insane. But Carmilla wasn't human, or at least not any more, and so sanity tied her to reality even when she would have preferred to be cut loose. Decades spent drowning in blood were memories she could have done without. Year after year of darkness and her own screams had left her a little wary of optimism.</p><p>So really, when Laura came along, she should have known it was all too good to be true.</p><p>A short piece from Carmilla's point of view, originally meant to be tacked on at the end of "when you break".</p>
            </blockquote>





	you've been crying out for forever (forever's come and gone)

**Author's Note:**

> come find me at gayravenclaw.tumblr.com

If there was one thing Carmilla was used to, it was being alone. Not just simply being on her own, but being _alone_ , on such a profound level that it would have driven most humans insane. But Carmilla wasn't human, or at least not any more, and so sanity tied her to reality even when she would have preferred to be cut loose. Decades spent drowning in blood were memories she could have done without. Year after year of darkness and her own screams had left her a little wary of optimism.

So really, when Laura came along, she should have known it was all too good to be true. She should have known that the universe just wasn't that kind, not really. She should have remembered that if something beautiful was dangled a few feet away from you, then there was usually someone waiting for you to stretch out your neck as you reached for it, and that person usually had a very sharp knife. 

In this case, it was Laura who had the knife, even if she hadn't realised it. 

Who could blame Carmilla for fleeing as soon as she saw the blade catch the sun? 

Self-preservation had become instinctive after so many years. Like she had once told Laura, you have to pick your battles. And Carmilla had known right from the start that the tiny journalism student, so bright she was almost blinding, embodied a battle she would never win. 

But the girl was... magnetic. Every move Carmilla made brought them closer together, unless she actively tried to push her away. It was exhausting. Carmilla was getting tired of fighting; she had struggled enough for several lifetimes at least. It was only when she had fallen to her knees, wrapped in chains, so resigned to leaving this world behind and forgetting the human-shaped hole in her chest, that she had let herself stop fighting. For just a moment, as Vordenburg raised the blade, she had let herself look at Laura's face one last time without attempting to hold back the sheer, all consuming love that had made it's home in her heart. If this was to be the last thing she ever felt, she had thought, then she really had no cause to complain. 

So imagine her surprise when Laura, sweet little Laura, who valued human life above all else, had snapped the charter over her knee and watched the Baron burn. Imagine her surprise when it appeared that Laura's highest priority, for the first time, was Carmilla. 

Imagine her surprise when now, over a week later, Laura was comfortably curled in her lap, running gentle fingers through her hair, and the only words Carmilla could hear were _I love you, I love you, it's true, I love you_... 

If Carmilla's heart had still served some sort of function, it would have been beating out of her chest. She felt dizzy. She could barely comprehend what had happened, from the moment Laura had sat by her side up until she had whispered the words Carmilla hadn't even dared to hope for. She was used to loving girls who thought she was a monster- Elle had taught her how to shoulder that particular burden. But here was Laura, who _accepted_ that she was a monster, and _didn't care_. 

Carmilla was practically having an out of body experience. 

Her train of thought was broken when Laura's fingers, which had previously been teasing the tangles from her hair, found the back of her neck and began to rub slow, firm circles. A shudder ran through Carmilla's body as she felt her muscles begin to turn to jelly. Nothing felt as good as Laura's hands on her skin. Nothing. 

Laura giggled, moving to look at Carmilla's face with amusement. Carmilla realised that a long, deep purr was emanating from her chest. Again. It was a natural overlap between her human and feline forms, but to be caught purring twice in one day- twice in one hour- was humiliating. No amount of leather could make that look tough. Ugh, she might as well beg for Laura to scratch behind her ears. Ridiculous. 

In an effort to save the last bit of her dignity, Carmilla quickly stopped the noise, and leaned forward to capture Laura's bottom lip between her teeth, nipping gently before kissing her properly. Laura sighed and leaned into it for a moment but it quickly became impossible when she began to laugh again. 

Carmilla pouted when Laura pulled away, body shaking with laughter. Admittedly, it felt good to hear it after such a long time... there had been a time when Carmilla thought she might never hear it again. But now, with her tiny human spluttering with amusement on her lap ( pants still unbuttoned, Carmilla noted smugly), there seemed to be very little that could go wrong. Apart from the fact that Carmilla was still very much not being kissed. 

"I'm sorry!" Laura giggled "It's just...the purring..." She was overtaken by another fit of laughter, and Carmilla waited patiently for her to continue. She bit back her own smile, choosing instead to school her face into an expression of mild offence. 

_Laura finally got her breath back, and when she looked at Carmilla, her amber eyes were shining. "It's not my fault you're so cute!"_

Oh, _that_ was the last straw. There was only one "cutie" in this relationship, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be Carmilla. 

"Cute, huh?" Carmilla drawled. "Funny, that wasn't what you were saying when I was knuckle deep in your-" 

Laura swiftly silenced her with another kiss, but as their faces pressed together Carmilla could feel the heat from her blush. When Laura moved to deepen the kiss, tongue flicking hotly into her mouth, Carmilla was painfully reminded of the ache that lingered between her thighs, and couldn't help letting out a hungry growl. 

Laura pulled back again, and Carmilla chased her lips, but to no avail. She huffed in frustration. What was Laura doing? They'd had enough trouble when the gingers three used to come bursting through the door at, ah, _delicate moments_. Carmilla had been surprised to learn that her patience, honed over centuries, did not extend to these situations. Every moment not spent with her lips against Laura's was a moment wasted. 

The kiss on her cheek did little to mollify her. Neither did the kiss to her forehead. The kisses trailed down her jaw and neck, however, were beginning to have an effect, and when Laura mouthed along her collarbone Carmilla sighed contentedly, enjoying the sensation of soft, warm lips against her skin. 

It felt nice, being loved. 

Carmilla could get used to it. 

It was only when she spotted the still-open bite on Laura's neck that she felt any inclination to move. 

"Laura." she murmured huskily, tugging at the hem of the girl's shirt. "Sweetheart, I think we should put something on your neck." 

Laura made a noise of protest, and cuddled closer, still kissing along Carmilla's neck and shoulder. 

Carmilla rolled her eyes. Still so stubborn. Reluctantly, she shoved Laura off her lap as gently as she could, before hauling both of them to their feet. 

"Neck." She said firmly. "Now. I've put a lot of effort into keeping you alive this far, I'm not letting some bacteria finish you off." 

Laura pouted, but allowed Carmilla to take her hand and tug her back towards the faint light of their little base camp. 

"Excuse _me_ for wanting a little alone time with my girlfriend." She muttered. 

Carmilla smirked, but was secretly thrilled that the word _girlfriend_ was back in play. 

"Oh, I think there'll be plenty of time for _that_..." 

The vampire relished the way Laura's cheeks reddened. She had missed it, being able to flirt without having to hide it under the guise of hostility. She could make Laura blush as much as she wanted now, and then kiss her to boot. 

As they walked back along the shelves, Laura twined their fingers together, and swung their hands back and forth. Carmilla felt like her heart was fit to burst. They walked in silence, but just as they were about to turn the final corner to where Laf waited among the old blankets and computer parts, Carmilla tugged Laura back, capturing her in her arms and bringing her in close. 

"I love you so much." She murmured, and was immediately embarrassed by the way her voice broke half way through. 

Laura looked back at her with shining eyes, hands resting lightly on her chest. Her voice sounded so much steadier when she said "I love you too", but Carmilla didn't mind. When Laura kissed her softly, she sighed, and slowly, carefully, allowed herself to imagine a future where she could tell Laura how much she loved her again and again. 

There would be plenty of time to get it right. 


End file.
